Khamoshi: The Ethical

Khamoshiyan kuch kahna chahti hain

unki bhi apni aawazein hai

ansuni - si ankahi

Khamoshi bhi ek nazm hai

Pyari - si

mai sunti hu hamesha

kyonki mere antar me uska vistaar hai

Meri khamoshi aaj jyaad khamosh hai

kyunki ye sun rahi hai kuch

sunaana bhi hai ise kuch

Khamoshi dekh rahi hai

yeh kathputlion ka khel

khamoshi sun rahi hai

Aawazein....

jo kabhi dua maangati hain

kabhi matlabparasti ke jaale bunti hai

Khamoshi aur jyaada khamosh ho gayee hai

khud ko hi taqseem kar dia hai

khamoshi jab juba kholegi

mujh pe karam hoga

mujh par hi kahar hoga......

Shhhh!!!!!!!!!! Silence

Meri Khamoshi ki gali se-
Aksharon ke saaye gujarate rahe...
aur Chaand ki dehleej pe
taare dua karte rahe......

Life 4 me is strange..Especially my life..So much tangled...even more than the web of a spider.................Several threads of emotions, desires, jealousy, hatred....unknown feelings...so complicatedly entwined among themselves..
Sub conscious mind follws forgiveness, love, sacrifice. It's free 4rm ill-wills, ignores hard words & pains provided by the people.
Conscious Mind is revengeful..Though it's not gone savage till now.....still it feels the pain...Vengeance is very much prfound.

This is crucial time. Time meant 4 studies, exam being approaching soon.
Everyone is utilizing his time...But i hav got different tastes & temaparaments...Even in library i wud start up wid Analog...End up wid literarture. I dont know wat is the relation between Leagedre's polynomials (mathematics) & literature.... Today i read parts of Aawazein, Kaccha Aangan, Kahmoshi se pehle.....well known works by Amrita Pritam.
Kaccha Aangan is simply marvellous...
Every piece of work in it is GR8.
But the laments & nazm of Saara Shagufta & her hopless suicide oceaned my eyes...heart aches 2 see their misery especially when they r not fictitious creatures...they r humans like me, like u...
Amrita's days wid Rabindranath tagore...once again revitalized my desire 2 visit Shanti Niketan. Definitely i will go their someday...
And Indira Gandhi's assasination. Her last words - " Ye kya kar rahe ho?", still reverberating...still rebounding my ear walls..

Indeed wat we r doing? The path which we r following, does it has sth to do with the betterment of country..Leave the country...does it going to enhance our spirit anyway?
The Youths of today are lost. I myself being no exception. I don't know the path i walk on..Start known...end is endless...
Am lost somewhere in the process of searching myself. My sharp edges, feel, are becoming powerless...Light does not reflects coz of diminished refractive index.....

Silence prevailing within....silence in ambience...i am just a spark..... Spark that can rekindle many but itself being of ignored identity... But i do believe a SPARK neglected burns the house...

Sirf ek chingari hai
Jo ek Leela khelti hai
Aur andhere ki chhathi me
Wo kabhi bujhati kabhi jalti-
Jane khuda se kya kahati hai
Aur Khamoshi ki wo nadi
Meri yaad me bahati hai.......

Changes...They keep us updated

Yeah!!!
Definitely i've got changed.
Initially it was a gradual phenomenon..But a fast and instantaneous change in last 6 months..
Initially i was arrogant, stubborn. I wany sth ...it meant i want it. But neverthless it destroyed sth . Infact this attitude fetched me gold of Diploma & 1100 cheque of Batch topper.(combined 8 trades)
I used to b very much arrogant & revengeful. Pain, vengeance,anger used 2 b my evertime companion as they used 2 affect me very much, very soon too. At least at this stage i can say that i can control these three. I hv also learnt forgiving..the hardest task.. coz of the spiritualism induced in me by Sujae, which gave me the strength & power of ignoring & being unaffected by the basesless torments & comments
I was logical...Hv gone more logical & practical these days..
And Yes the greatest change ...the school days smiles and peals of laughter-that while coming here i've left in my sweethome. due to persistent support & help of my cute punjaban/punjabi friends (sm others too) .....................hav regained it .

But sometimes i feel it gonna harm me someday definiteli if i dont stop my battisi shining out brilliantly in chemistry & MS type lectutes & lecturers. I was on the borderline of being thrown away 4rm class due to my untimely, uncotrolled laughing spree..............

Finally results hav come...Not as per hope....sm wat sad too...............so m stopping my Processing here....

Better now i sud prepare 4 fighting d impending war dat can commence now 4rm any moment....

Lots of free time !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well!!!!!!! Everybody is busy....either in studies..or in sleeping. I've 2 do nothing. Until result comes & datesheet declared am not going to study. I hv started hating the lifelong phenomena.
As far as sleeping is concerned, it has reached to its saturation level...It now gives no Njoymnt.
So in punjabi nowadays am totally 'VELLI'. My friends in other colleges r either busy with their exams or r enjoying their hols at their sweet homes.. Am blessed 2 neither. So opted this place 4 timepass...I know once the datesheet declared, i'll b in d greatest peril as i've no preparation (a gud & satisfactory one) in any subject.

But i always follow instructions coming 4rm the Microcontroller installed within the most subtle & delicate top most part of this biological unit......

So am Kool till Results & Datesheet comes. I advice the same 2 my pals..rather i am thinking 2 utilize the gap 2 explore myself ..the changes within me in past 3 years...

Microcontroller is ON ......wait till processing continues.

Shall b soon with the results of analysis..........

At the End, nothing Goes

Everyone in cosmos wants a good image. She is no exception. But she was alleged :"She left her companion when she turned her competitor". More or less it was supported by her companion too. This really brought a blot on her image..a painful and lifelong experience for her. Companion...Hmmm... Is being in someone's company always means s/he is his gud compnion? Dat too a true one?
Seeing life is very easy....observing & analysing is equally difficult..Quite few guys know dat she is at no fault...But she never tried clearing the clouds either...I know her...She's like dat

Public has 2 speak only..w/o thinking....least caring it may devastate someone..devour sm-1...People see things superficially 7 they give their comments..Mass as a whole, lacks logical & analytical reasoning..That's Y they r mass...possesss no individual identity. Mass does not know the trifling yet very important things going in her life. mass does not know the hurricane within her...And mass does not know the DRIP & ANALGIN concept of her life..mass does know the incident dat happened on 26th jan , 2006..which finally compelled her 2 detach herself 4rm sm persons.Mass knows nothing..they hav jes comments 2 throw

Things have got fresher, past incidents revived...coz again she's suffered allgations..baseless ones..

Anyways ..she is least interested in clearing the things..shje live in a circle & the people within it & over its periphery know her very well...Now she cares lest of her image..she is inert to her rude, shrewd, & proud tags..(gud alliteration, infact)..

I know her power to turn odds 2 even..tornado curl 2 cool caesar breeze..She will get balanced wid d help of her silence. With the Manthan going within her innerself, she will soon unleash her hidden potential...and no-one can then stop her to reach the Kshitiz.

In the Beginning, Nothing Comes;
In the Middle, Nothing stays;
at the End, Nothing goes.

Present is middle.....she has nothing..she is nothing
Working for End.......To find the complement of Nothing.

well !!!
Life's breez seems been replaced by tornado curls.
Ambience here's exploding...when, where,it will expplode...unknown to everyone
everything uncertain.
Even d Heisenberg's uncertainty principle fails here
So much is the intensity of uncertainty prevailing here...

And My Life....

Deadlines, Desires, Dreams
And my Life.....

Unknown thirst, emotion burst, Lust
And my Life.....

Holding hands, assuaging words
Unfolding relations, unfastening bonds
And my Life.......

falling, crawling, strolling
Reinforcing self, reconciling fate
And my Life......

Silent, piercing paired hollwed eyes
Destination gleaming, illusion terrain
Pinches, pains, apathy, dry rain
And my Life...

Wordless, deedless, reckless
Peaceless, powerless, pathless
Hyped...hated...hurted...hostile...
Long exile
THIS IS MY LIFE................................

Ghalib (source internet)

So back after a long break..
m here wid some very beautiful work of Ghalib..


hazaaroN KHwahishaiN 'eisee ke har KHwahish pe dam nikle
bohot nikle mere armaaN lekin fir bhee kam nikle
nikalna KHuld se aadam ka sunte aayaiN haiN lekin
bohot be_aabru hokar tere kooche se ham nikle

bus ki dushwaar hai har kaam ka aasaaN hona
aadmee ko bhee muyassar naheeN insaaN hona
giriya chaahe hai KHaraabee mere kaashaane ki
dar-o-deevaar se Tapke hai bayaabaaN hona

dil-e-naadaaN tujhe huaa kya hai ?
aaKHir is dard kee dawa kya hai
maiN bhee muNh meiN zabaan rakhta hooN
kaash ! poocho ki "muddaa kya hai" ?

meharbaaN ho ke bulaa lo mujhe chaaho jis waqt
maiN gayaa waqt nahiN hooN ke phir aa bhi na sakooN
zauf meiN taanaa-e-aGHyaar ka shikwaa kyaa hai?
baat kuchh sar to nahiN hai ke uThaa bhi na sakooN

kahooN kis se maiN ke kya hai, shab-e-GHam buree bala hai
mujhe kya bura tha marna ? agar ek baar hota
hue mar ke ham jo ruswa, hue kyoN na GHarq-e-dariya
na kabhee janaaza uThata, na kaheeN mazaar hota



zikr us pareewash kaa, aur phir bayaaN apnaa
ban gayaa raqeeb aaKHir thaa jo raazdaaN apnaa

Main wo kyoN bahut peete bazm-e-ghair meN yarab
Aaj hi hua manzoor un ko imtihaaN apna

manzar ik bulandee par aur ham banaa sakte
'arsh se idhar hotaa kaash ke makaaN apnaa

De woh jis qadar zillat hum haNsee meN taleNge
Baarey Aashna nikla unka paasbaN apna

ham kahaaN ke daanaa the? kis hunar meiN yaktaa the?
be_sabab huaa 'GHalib' dushman aasmaaN apnaa