Manthan

Deja Vu

2011-02-20T12:04:00.000-08:00

One of the dialogues from the movie Dhobighat is still rebounding into my ears.

"The sea is a very patient listener, you can talk to it all you want to be unheard.
It hears all and settles everything into its bottom."

I also used to share myself with sea.

But one day tsunami came and what all were settled in the bottom , were spalshed up,high in the sky,to fall here and there.

This proved sea do have an upper thrshold of withstanding and do possess a limit of how much they can settle within their depths.

From the scattered pieces, some I could collect. Some I lost forever.

I decided not to see the sea again. Toughest was the decision from all so far though.

But after a couple or so dozen of months, Sea called me,again.
I could not resist the temptation of being caressed by its warmth and affection again.

The nightmares of tsunami,though,triedd to stop me.
I revolted against all the logics and fought hard to overcome the tsunami fear that had setteled deep into my chest.

Humans do err. I too am a human.
I had forgotten.
Though silent otherwise,sea are always prone to one or the other kind of tsunami.

And if the brain is trapped with some kind of fear waves,this may end up turning the projections of fear to a reality, sooner or later.

Eventually it becomes tough to find whether the onset of tsunami /hurricanes was due to the nature of the sea or as a result of deja-vu

Return

2010-11-27T14:48:00.000-08:00

It's been almost two years after which I am writing here. 2 years, they passed as if they were 2 weeks. I was so much occupied,or say lost,addicted to whatever I was doing. It took so many years to finally gain all,barring few losses which were not replenishable. Though the abstract things are again with me, still the pain resides always within,of what I lost.
When I see the losses many people hv faced in their journey of life, my loss seems so small. I assuage my grieved heart by setting before it their example. Pain goes and it returns again after few days. Some projections always follow you because they were conceived in your mind and ideas once conceived,spread like virus.

I am a human.So I keep on erring and then learning from them. The biggest lesson learnt so far is: Let everyone go off you,if they wish to,however tough may be it's for you. Don't try to tie them with you. They will come if they truly were yours. And if they dont't come back,they were never yours. You were in illusion.

Sometimes faith plays a vital role in achieving big things. I put a faith in a subject that even, I, in my heart,knew is impossible that it would get to real.

But such was the strength of faith, it did turn to reality.

That subject apart, it was only the faith in myself that kept me moving always. Be the sick,bedridden days of hostel, or the depressed days in Faridkote; worst the last sem in college.

When I joined job, I was beset with lots of challenges. I did fail on couple of ocassions. There was even a day in Trivandrum training hostel, when I wept for whole night at my one of the failures in a very important test. And the hit was that I had to weep in such a way that my roommate may not hear it. That day I realised the importance of a pillow.

Trivandrum days,though were tightly scheduled,and we needed to prove ourself daily, I never felt any big problem,except at two ocassions. I was there with my friends who used to make me remember myself when I used to loose heart. The place was airy and I can easily inhale and exghale,both air and thoughts.

Then I moved to Mumbai. Even there the ghost and the pain were following me. I had adjusted with it and have permanentally rented a corner of my head and heart to them. I needed to settle and harmonise with them so that I can continue with my work.
Mumbai is a place where u need to keep on running if u want to go on top and reach ur dreams. I joined the race. I ran,madly,fastly. I forgot myself. Sometimes my breathes gave me warnings too, that they would cease if I did not give them rest. Hardly did I care. I won finally.

One race,two race, three race and then a bigger race.

That day I slept. I slept a lot. I was relaxed . I had seen myself,the real me,after so long. I got evidence,the edge is back. I need proof of everything.

The ghost and the pain were rejoicing too. The projections started dancing before me.

It was mid of June this year, that finally I got rid of the projections. They were replaced by their real entity. But pain haunts sometimes. Actually I have become accustomed of pains,it seems. So even if there is no pain, I would keep on searching for it. And because there is none new, I keep clinging the past pains, which have no pain left in them now. I have squezzed all the painfull elements from the pain , that the pain is empty now. Still I would not let it go,perhaps till I don't get a fresh one ... Enigmatic me....

But here in Mumbai, air is scarce. Sorry,air is there, oxygen is less.
Sometimes the deficiency tried killing me, but the attack ended merely in increasing my immunity to cope up with oxygen deficiency.

It's now 5:15 am... need to sleep....there are lot many things to be done in the morning !!!

2008-12-17T20:07:00.000-08:00

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY !!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-15T14:01:00.000-07:00

Had gone 2 my school 2day,after 6 long years, in which I was lost somewhere, burning myself, to make a path towards my destination as destiny has never helped me until I burn myself completely for something. Something you never forget. Some MOMENTS you always keep treasured. Saw my alma mater flourishing. As usual the chief guest of the day (15 Aug) was Brigadier B.P.Singh. Many colonels, captains & other Army officials have also arrived at the occasion. As I saw the dignitaries, my own school days flashed on to my cerebrum.
Well!! The main motto of visiting my school was to meet my teachers (only 3 still there) & to take out some shoots, which were officially denied due to security & other reasons. Yet I managed 2 get few moments captured live.
Everything is same. The same K.V. culture I smelt there in the ambience. School has become more beautiful than before & has succeeded in maintaining its name among top schools of the city.
I felt highly delighted 2 meet some of the pillars of my life. Yes my teachers. Cultural programs were good. So were the sweets……Will try 2 visit this temple again before I leave this place for training…Wish you all Happy Independence Day !!!!!!!!! Tomorrow is Rakshabandhan…Shubh evam Paawan Rakshabandhan…..never leave your sister/brother feel sad or alone due to you or anything.It’s the most beautiful relation in the world, as well as the most pious………..expecting too. S/he has right to expect love & time from you.

Time Pass Gossip

2008-08-11T14:08:00.000-07:00

Hey !!! So long !!! Hmmm!! I am back, got some time for blogging. Finally the results were out & we became full fledged Engineers..on papers only waise toh jaali Engineer hi hainJ. I could make up in 1st three only…not the first this time…chill maar..kuch kuch life me pahli baar hota hai mamu, kah ke samjha daala apne fatele dil ko. Last sem last moments of college went pretty fine. And now at home in a jolly good mood. Life’s rocking. From Sadda Punjab & Sonar Kolkata, back 2 appan Bihar,the eternal centre of my gravity.Kuch bhi hai,hai toh apna. Apney toh apney hote hain. They never forget u, they never let you forget.
Imagine what I’m doing? Vehle..yeah pure vehle! I spend time thinking,my favourite time pass super masala.This time some different way of thinking.Think what will be the next move of Sindoora..I’m die heart fan of her & her poses & style when she thinks. She’s marvelously intelligent.Hey why not give her java problems 2 encode. she can do it very well. She’s giving cotton & bindi a new definition..my granny is fan of her full-sleeve blouses.
The rotten romance of Rhidhima & Armaan Plus their gang’s bakwaas makes the show impossible 4 me. Are they doctors? My favourite in this stupid gang is Dr. Muskaan..Bindaas hai !! Acchi dost hai..meri tarah…
And moma of Sarabhai Vs Sarabhai is day by day getting younger..she left proof of this in Jane Tu ..ya Jane Na…Ratna pathak Shah is always a perfect fit for comedy acts.She’s so natural always. Next is her sis, Hansa of Instant Khichdi…Supriya Pathak. She’s my favorite since the release of movie Vijeta…kya jabardast bewakoof bani hai…har koi itna bada bewakoof nahi ho sakta except for Prafful…
I do take hold of some important current affairs, likewise, session commenced in IIT, Patna, though not in its own building but in polytechnic college patna’s building. Super 30 launching its branch n Gaya.1st stage test conducted. Bihar Govt. asking EOI(Expression of Interest) from corporate world to launch moving restaurants on river Ganga. Mahi got Khel Ratna Award. Vividh Bharti celebrating its Golden jubilee..
And Radio Mirchi ,98.3, its hot…its always repeating (24x7) almost the same new songs with dull but superfast commentary…But I am learning 4rm there some hot new words those are fusion of English & Magahi, Maithili & other regional dialects….kyu itna padhte padhte aap ko bhi abhi tak Jhaallaittis (a fusion..jhallana blended wid Eng suffix) ho gaya hoga na….
Aaj k liye itna hi…catch u wid more boring hobnobs later….gud night…..

Incarnation

2008-05-27T08:40:00.000-07:00

I am happy….This semester unraveled before me many mysteries. Mysteries of varied types & dimensions. I had had many strange & new experiences & today I feel I am more practical & strong .sometimes I even astonish as how I survived all those perils. No doubts, never was I alone.
From the experiences of drips & fortnight trips to various Hospitals to the joyous journey to Himalayan subranges, from the VLSI fever to Videography spree, transformation from the schizophrenic psychosis to transcended spirit..From the drastic academic downfall to moral & spiritual uplift..many things, many situations…everywhere I learnt something new... The words always assuaged me & lightened the pain , that:

“Rago me daudane firne ke hum nahi quayal
Jab Aankh hi se na tapka toh fir Lahoo kya hai??”

With the support of my family & my friends (few but true), today again I feel the same power, the power of self ignition & dignity, determined again to dream.

So many sojourns this semester. Twice to Delhi, unexpected, untimely, unwise yet necessary journey to Gurgaon (I still wonder how I did that? Was it me? Wherefrom came the strength?). And smilingly my little heart answered, It’s you, you can do anything. Nobody can beat you except 4 u urself. I Roamed there with my sister, my eternal & divine source of inspiration, & brother, the unique multiplication of simplicity & knowledge …Glory & Glamour of Sahara, Ambience & DT malls wooed me…& my prized possesion shopped there..I Love wearing it..After somedays, the fined trip to H.P. Two days totally in midst of nature & tinkling of various temple’s bells…chanting of Sabads in Anandpursahib…….serenity sprawling everywhere…..
So much tiring way to Naina Devi..So much rush at Jwala jee..Navratara time was it..Two hrs standing in queue at Chintapurani Mata & at almost all temples that were visited. But nothing happened to me even in that weak-freak state…Because I was confident: I may be Delicate, but not Fragile..Then Patiala & Chandigarh…many times……in my feeble state…I baffle sometimes, was it me??

This time the words echoing in my ears are those of Ghalib’s :

“Muskilein aai itni ki aasaan ho gai..”

Exams are nearing..No preparations due to prolonged sickness & delirium..But I am sure nothing can be worse than what has passed….academically,physically,mentally,morally,spiritually,socially, or take any –cally..I cleared no exam this sem.. Failed everywhere…
Today I feel much lighter…The past conditions left me with a lighter state(weight) & that’s extremely good because now with a little Thrust, I can rise higher, as Buoyancy has increased (as per Archemedie’s principle). So many benefits I am going 2 get (hv got also) of my passed stage…
I am sure now that I will never be admitted to health centre, because the reason for that is permanently sorted out.. Again a benefit, reduction in medical bills, so financial benefit as well..5 long years it took to be sorted out.. This Numbness & Stoicism should be rewarded earlier..

Greatest benefit is that I have explored myself, rediscovered myself. & after self-annihilation & self-assasination (as nobody else has power to harm or destroy me ), I succeeded finally in creating a Phoenix. It will take little more time, but the process of creation of phoenix has started.. I may lose (or hv lost) sth very precious, but the reward I am going 2 get & that I hv got partially, will be a lifelong, & more precious..

I can say firmly : I was never wrong, I regret for nothing. Only a Divine Guilt. But I refuse to forget as it teaches me & help me getting strong by pouring some acidic liquid into my lenses.

The VOID is filled. Instead a CANON is created & I refuse to fill it.(I can, on my wish I can do anything) I sentence myself to carry it lifetime. And I am Happy…on my INCARNATION……

“Zindagi apni jab is shakl se gujri Ghalib
Hum bhi kya yaad karenge ki khuda rakhte thein”

(If this is the shape of things in Life, Ghalib, We”ll remember that we had a God, Who shaped them)

The Divine Guilt

2008-05-21T03:58:00.000-07:00

In the stormy & eeri night
Deep asleep is the cosmos, none in sight
Awake is a pair of eyes, lost in thought flight
Unslept since many scary nights

Divine guilt atop today, a gaseous poison
And the Blood-Pumping Station
Despite every request, going to cessation
Refusing to perform its biological function

Floats over memory all the deeds lunatic
Done in oblivion, defending cerebrum’s every logic
All the cries, the shouts, the alms & the beggings
Were declared selfishness, stories & alleged of prying

How heinously self-respect & self-pride I assassinated
And my principles that I shrouded & cremated
Stains of sins & self-annihilation can never be washed
Though as divine guilt it is defined
But to forget & forgive the self, the forlorn heart declined

Forgiven is everyone except for me
And the abandoned soul will haunt me perpetually
The divine guilt turning me daily
To a numb silent stony stoic being……..

missing my family

2008-05-21T03:34:00.003-07:00

feeling bereft with love & affection
aching heart is missing my mom
her fingers gently moving deep into my hairs
her lap,the most relaxed place to adhere

I am missing my father's inspirational talks, so long
Sisters,their lovely chats,chants, quarrels & demands
Brother,his gentle care,lovely nick-names & similie
Yes in the depth of of my heart, i am missing my family.......

I have learnt that........

2008-05-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I've learned that the people you care about most in life are sometimes taken from you too soon

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to help you when you're down, will be the ones to kick you up.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that one should not despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return

I've learned that the language of any relationship is not words but meanings. But expression through words is equally important, for it may be world for someone.

I've learned that everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.

Mera Mann

2008-04-13T05:33:00.000-07:00

मेरा मन,अंतर का कवि
रोज़ छटपटाता है, कलम उठता है
कुछ सृजन करने क लिए
ये चाहता है उकेरना
मनन में कुलबुलाती वेदनाएं,संवेदनाएं
वेदनाएं जो असह्य हैं
संवेदनाएं जो असंख्य हैं,अकथ्य हैं………….

कविता की नदी न जाने कहा मुडती है
गिरती संभलती उधर ही चलती है
उससे खुद नहीं पता धरा कहाँ है
किनारा कहाँ है !!!!!!!!!!!

नदी चाहती है अपने आवेग में
सब कुछ समेटना
अपने आवेश में सब कुछ नष्ट कर देना
नदी चाहती है धो देना
चेहरे के नक्आबों को
चाहती है हटाना मन पर डाले
बेहिसाब हिजाबों को ……

कवइ मन कभी है विनम्र,तरल
फिर खुद ही हो जाता है विकल
ढूँढता है अपनी ही रचनाओ में
कही से जीने का संबल
रचनायें मनन की संरचना को
शायद बनाए सबल ……..

कवइ मन आज बन छुका है पत्थर
संवेदनाएं उस पर सर पटक रही हैं
शब्द कही अन्दर ही सिमट रहे हैं
दर्द कही अन्दर ही घुट रहे हैं
मन नहीं चाहता ये बाहर आये
दुनिया को बताये के
कमजोर हो गए हैं हम
शायद कुछ पलों में टूट के
बिखर भी जाए हम……

टुकड़े इतने होंगे की कोई
गिन भी नहीं सकेगा
जोड़ने वाले कम हैं, टुकड़े असंख्य
शायद जुड़ भी न पाए अब
शायद टुकड़े और ज्यादा तोड़ दिए जाएँ

नदी आज न जाने कहा mud रही है
खुद वो भी नहीं जानती
शायद सागर उससे कभी न मिले
शायद किनारे छूट जाए,हौसले टूट जाए
शायद सारा पानी ही सूख जाए
शायद………शायद……..
शायद नदी गुम हो जाए
संवेदनाओ के रेगिस्तान में !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tishnagi

2008-04-13T05:07:00.000-07:00

Un raaston se khaufzada rahta hai dil hamara
Milte hain hum jin pe apno se ajnabi ki tarah

Ummeed ka dhaaga bandhe bhi to kyu ab?
Tod gae apne bhi jab har kisi ki tarah

Wo sapna kaid hai palko tale ab bhi
Pyara tha hame jo kabhi Zindagi ki tarah

Zindagi thi Gulzaar kabhi inhi raahon pe
Raunak hai usme ab kafan ki sadagi ki tarah

Dam ghutata hai yaha or kahi ja bhi sakte nahi
Ban kar rah gai hai ye zindagi tishnagi ki tarah

Poochte hain dost aashna ab aap haste nahi
muskane ki koshish lagti hai ab khudkusi ki tarah

The Encyclopedia of Schizophrenic Entity

2008-02-18T12:03:00.000-08:00

4. Dil aashna hai

mausam bahut sard hai, benoor
bilkul berang chaadar ki tarah
dilo me safed kuhaase ki parat hai
ye bezubaan hai, ya beaaawaaz?
Kuch ilm nahi…

Us par roz ki tez bearish
Darr lagta hai, kabhi itna jyaada
Ki khamoshiya cheekh padti hain
Raat ke gumnaam sannate me
Par aawaaz nahi aati
Khamoshiyon ki cheekhein
koi sun nahi sakta

aankhon k saamne ki dhundh
dilo pe pade kuhaase
na ye chatate hain
na baarish thamti hai

sab kuch bikhra sa, geela sa
ussme kahi se aata dilaasa, chota sa
jaana hai? Anjana hai? Kiska hai?
Koi or nahi
Mera dil hai, jo mera aashna hai

3. The Color of Pain

Complex are the colors of life
But what’s the color of pain?
White, like the abominable lull of crematory?
Red, like the drooping eyes of myseries.

Or yellow, deep, dirty & muddy
Like the parched lands of drought?
Or is it Green?
Resembling bruises of persecuted people

Is it Black??
Like the coffins of soldiers dying without ammunitions?
May be its golden
Like Gold Medals, renouncing the holders
From worldly happiness
Gifting an aloof asthmatic apex……..

Silver??
Like lives of Hermans of Silver Screen?
Only hypothetical
It may be shiny like Diamond ring
Gulloped for ending sufferings

Or of multishade, like of a Rainbow
coming in dreams of deserted & abandoned hearts
or is it colorless??
Like the air, the water…….& me??????????

2. Purane Furniture: Na-maloom Sa Aks

aalishaan bangale ke ek kone me
pade hain kuch purane bejaan furniture
na rang hai ab na aakaar
be-tarteeb, kacharo ke beech, kircho me bikhra
ab khud kachre me tabdeel
naye daur me ab ye shaleen nahi dikhte
kabhi komal inke pairon k neeche
ab kaaleen nahi dikhte

isse jis karigar ka intezaar hai
wo kabhi nahi aaega
aur ek din ye yu hi pada pada
zaar zaar ho jaega
accha hai kachra na rah kar
kabaadi ki jageer to ban jaega………

1. Faasaley

Faasale
Dastak dete hue har rishtey par
Faisaley
Khud thopati jazbaaton par
Kaafiley
Bahut sare, manzil k iss paar
Silsiley.
Khamoshiyon k cheekhne ki…..

The Last Daily

2007-10-21T01:47:00.000-07:00

I am digging the ground Daily I remove the mud
Daily I deepen the area
Daily some length & width increases
And daily I measure the volume still required
For my coffin to fit therein……
Want to complete every work
Before I drag the last step
To lessen the pains of my last rituals
It would be customary only, because
I’m on pyre since long ago
& waiting just for the body to go within
Daily I dig, daily I remove……!!!!!!!!
May be today is final day….
The Last Daily !!!!!!!!!!!!!

khamoshi या aawazein

2007-10-21T01:29:00.000-07:00

मेरा आसमा मिल गया है
पर छू नही सकती
पानी के बुलबुले हैं
dar है खो जाएँगे

मेरा आसमा ही मेरा पासवा हाई
पर ऊँचा बहुत है
और मेरी सीमाये छोटी
जब उचाई पा नही सकती
तो खुद से तकसीम कर देती हूँ

फिर दर्द की इन्तहा बढ़ती जाती है
जो पलको तले सील हो जाती है
सीपिया खुली है…………..
बूँदें भी हैं, अनगिनत हैं
पर मोती नही बनते !!!

ख्वाब हकीकत नही बनते ,वैसे ही
जैसे आंसू से जख्म नही सिलते…………..
जैसे, खामोशी से आवाजें नही मिटती!!!!!!!

kuch sawaal

2007-10-20T13:39:00.000-07:00

Rishtein , kya hain?
Jo khoon k hain?
Ya khoon me risate hain??

Dard kya hai?
Jo bah jae?
Ya khamoshiyon me zard ho kar
Zabt ho jae?

Pyaar kya hai?
Jo jatana pade?
Ya, jiska gehraiyon me kahi maun vistaar hai?

Farz kya hai?
Dil pe pada karz ? ya
Ta-umra bandhe rahne ka khushnuma ahsaas?

Dooriyaan kya hain?
Dil me pade khraash ?
Ya, fir se milne ki namumkin si aas?

Raaste kya hain?
Kaafile ki dagar?
Ya, kabhi na khatam hone wala
Lamba Safar???????

Mein kaun hu?
Khuda ki galti ?
Ya galtiyon ka khuda?

Quandary

2007-05-05T19:02:00.000-07:00

When the Relations become responsibilities
Affection becomes Alternatives
Bonds turn to Burdens
Life looks so Lustreless

Talks are just to break the Silence
Words uttered are only only for Solace
And existence seems Surplus
Life’s then only a Showpiece…………

When the Emotions get chilled
Feelings are unknowingly grilled
Left is no more a laughter cookie
Life’s just a tasteless recipe

Relations given relative weights
Series of weeps & deep sighs
And then vanishes in the Infinite
The gleam of life that sometimes
Shone so Bright………………

........nahi

2007-05-05T18:59:00.000-07:00

Rishtey hain par ab
Riste nahi
Aati jaati lehron pe khwaab abb
Tikte nahi

Abhi abhi mile hain jaane pehchane anjano se
Mil ke bhi ab dil
Khilte nahi

Koshish kare bhi lakh par
Bandhe hue gaanth puri tarah
Khulte nahi
Jee lete hain akele hi sehra me wo
Jo khud ho zalzale, wo or
Jalte nahi

Dariya me bhi na hue garq aashana
Iss thahare hue paani se ab wo
Darte nahi
Aanshu ke dhaago me jo pirote hain
Jakhmon ko
Kisi ko bhi nashtar wo
Chubhote nahi

Mulaquat

2007-02-06T10:07:00.000-08:00

aaj bahut dino baad
fir se, achanak;
zindagi se mulaquaat ho gai
soyi hui aankhein yu hi khul gai..........

chalte chalte wo kah gai
abhi aane wale hain zal-zalein kai
"zal-zalein jabt ho jaenge hausalon me kahi "
jaane kaise jubaan yu gustaakh ho gai............(?)

eyes

2007-02-06T09:58:00.000-08:00

A hollowed pair of eyes
On the way
Waiting for someone’s back stay
Eyes so deep, so silent
Eyes still so turbulent
Questions spinning therein
Sometimes so firm, then so lean
Shining with new mischief
And sometime a sudden rainfall would begin

Eyes for they don’t see
Eyes for they observe
Would stretch out in wrath……
Would stare to peep within
Eyes prevent to have faith
Says not to walk on illusion terrain

The same pair of eyes
Would spread on ways
Waiting for days, silent, gray
Speechless…sometimes…hopeless

For these eyes are perfect absorbers
Retaining everything within
The past, the pals;
The zeros, the nulls;
The relations now chilled
Emotions those were killed

The walls, the bridges
The bricks, the sticks
The ways, the gossips
And the broken beliefs, thrown on
The rusty roads like orange pips…………

Eyes still tracking the events
A pair of eyes……
The same pair of eyes..
The much known pair of eyes……….
Those still pair of eyes………

Euphoria

2006-11-04T08:08:00.000-08:00

The Euphoria of heart today
tumbling down
Finally through the dense cloud
the sun has shone.....
Three long years of silence
And now the sudden turn of fate
Eerie has turned to cheery
the mystry of life so hard to reveal................

Everything unexpected was it
the friendly gestures,the words,the care
the smiles,the feat,the giggles, the treat
And overall
the reciprocity of the what i feel.........

So getting again the purple patch
Happiness preserved which nobody can snatch
Even if life turns back on weird roads
treasured memories will give me smile the broad

So thanks to life & thanks to pals
for bringing the impossible to real thrills
And embelleshing my life with daisy frills
Hey thanks dear Brother.....
For letting me feel at top of the world

Power of Zero

2006-09-09T21:08:00.000-07:00

Zero represents the Absolute Reality & Infinity represents the manifestations of that reality...An equation for me has no meaning unless it expresses a thought of God.
------ Sriniwas Ramanujam

When you make yourself into Zero, your power becomes invincible-----Mahatma Gandhi

When one's expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have.
................ Stephen hawking

When aiming for common Division, be prepared for the occasional Division by Zero.

Parwaaz

2006-09-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

Ek din mera bhi kafila hoga
Koi aisa hoga jo mera hausala hoga.
zaari hai koshisho ke silsile
jab Mazi aur hamare beech na koi faasla hoga.
Aaegi Rakhchinda apne v kaashaane ek din
Noor-e-aftaab se roshan aashiyana hoga.
Musalsal intezaar hai us waqt ka
jab zami se falk tak naam kewal Aashana hoga..............

Simply Punjabi

2006-09-09T07:37:00.000-07:00

Asi kade keha v nai
Te ohne kade sunya v nai
Asi kade koshish v nai kitti
Te ohnu pata chaleya v nai
Russana kade asi cchadeya nai
Te manaun di koshish ohne kitti hi nai
Dost kehande ne mai kamali ha
per teek hon di khwahish sanu hun tak v nai

This is the psychology of a person, encrypted in my words,with whom I'hv Marasim Purane...........

Sweetest Sojourn

2006-08-17T12:13:00.000-07:00

Training days at Chandigarh transformed my humdrum routine & sedentary life into beautiful bud, trying to unwrap, in a hurry, lest again it doesn’t get withered away.
Those days let me sense my dwindled away aroma………….I was enjoying the changes which r unseen, unobserved by anyone else coz these r very clandestine, subtle. Felt like being in the dell of knowledge, peace (inner as well) & amity.
Enjoyed very much PROGRAMMING. Felt after a long time, I too possess some scrap of intelligence, which iff given suitable platform can change bazooka to ABM…..Hmmmm Dreamz…they cost nothing….
There met I a person whom I used 2 hate and admire, both simultaneously….
He’s our Instructor, senior engineer there. Hate coz he didn’t heed much on our group. Admire coz he’s simply stupendous, stupefying….brilliant.
And the fun trip 2 chd & vicinity every weekened. Rock Garden, Rose garden, sukna lake, shanty kunj, Sec 17,18, 22 (complexes), Mansa Devi (Panchkula), Stadium & Lakshmi Narayan Temple (Mohali)….list goes on…… And daily (almost) roaming on the streets of Mohali with sweet roomie
And the most remarkable & cherished moment….my impossible & unexpected Re-Union with my two lost pals……Oh!!!!!!! One had parted 3 yrs back & another 6 yrs…
Meeting with the later was totally unexpected, Miracle, I would say, in the way circumstances turned 2 our favour
Got the moments, the precious ones, trapped
On the whole it was very nice being there simply b’coz

Chand lamho me simat aaya
Sadiyo ka safar
Zindagi tez
Bahut tez chali ho jaise

beats 4rm within

2006-06-15T07:16:00.000-07:00

mausam abhi hamare maqool nahi
mana filwaqt sokoon nahi
ek roz to aaega ujala
roshan hoga apna kashana...

dariyaein to bahati rahti hain, kisne roka hai?
ye muskile bhi hawa ka jhoka hain
aashana hai itni koshish..
jehan me hai abhi bhii kashish..

ki musalasal aae mushkile
ispati ho iraade, buland hote jae hausale....

fasale hain tabhi raste hain
mana raqeebo ke kafile hain
manzoor hain rab k saare faisale
gar kisi mode pe kabhi manzilein
muskurati huee hamse aa mile....

2006-06-15T06:59:00.000-07:00

Ways are long
The things which u long
Will certainly one day u belong….
Wait may get prolonged…
But courage & faith pay in Long

inner triangle

2006-06-15T06:35:00.001-07:00

kyu har waqt dhoondati hai nazar aashiyana
kyu karta hai man harkate kafirana
kyu dhoondati hai aankhein harwaqt aawaaz wo aashna
kahi bah na jae wufure-asque me mera kashana....

kyu manzil ki taraf kadam nahi uth rahe
jabki hamare beech ab fasale kuch hi rahe
dua hai shama zindagi ki kuch yu jale
ki rakhschinda hamare aashiyane me aa mile....

Khamoshi: The Ethical

2006-05-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

Khamoshiyan kuch kahna chahti hain

unki bhi apni aawazein hai

ansuni - si ankahi

Khamoshi bhi ek nazm hai

Pyari - si

mai sunti hu hamesha

kyonki mere antar me uska vistaar hai

Meri khamoshi aaj jyaad khamosh hai

kyunki ye sun rahi hai kuch

sunaana bhi hai ise kuch

Khamoshi dekh rahi hai

yeh kathputlion ka khel

khamoshi sun rahi hai

Aawazein....

jo kabhi dua maangati hain

kabhi matlabparasti ke jaale bunti hai

Khamoshi aur jyaada khamosh ho gayee hai

khud ko hi taqseem kar dia hai

khamoshi jab juba kholegi

mujh pe karam hoga

mujh par hi kahar hoga......

Shhhh!!!!!!!!!! Silence

2006-05-27T08:14:00.000-07:00

Meri Khamoshi ki gali se-
Aksharon ke saaye gujarate rahe...
aur Chaand ki dehleej pe
taare dua karte rahe......

Life 4 me is strange..Especially my life..So much tangled...even more than the web of a spider.................Several threads of emotions, desires, jealousy, hatred....unknown feelings...so complicatedly entwined among themselves..
Sub conscious mind follws forgiveness, love, sacrifice. It's free 4rm ill-wills, ignores hard words & pains provided by the people.
Conscious Mind is revengeful..Though it's not gone savage till now.....still it feels the pain...Vengeance is very much prfound.

This is crucial time. Time meant 4 studies, exam being approaching soon.
Everyone is utilizing his time...But i hav got different tastes & temaparaments...Even in library i wud start up wid Analog...End up wid literarture. I dont know wat is the relation between Leagedre's polynomials (mathematics) & literature.... Today i read parts of Aawazein, Kaccha Aangan, Kahmoshi se pehle.....well known works by Amrita Pritam.
Kaccha Aangan is simply marvellous...
Every piece of work in it is GR8.
But the laments & nazm of Saara Shagufta & her hopless suicide oceaned my eyes...heart aches 2 see their misery especially when they r not fictitious creatures...they r humans like me, like u...
Amrita's days wid Rabindranath tagore...once again revitalized my desire 2 visit Shanti Niketan. Definitely i will go their someday...
And Indira Gandhi's assasination. Her last words - " Ye kya kar rahe ho?", still reverberating...still rebounding my ear walls..

Indeed wat we r doing? The path which we r following, does it has sth to do with the betterment of country..Leave the country...does it going to enhance our spirit anyway?
The Youths of today are lost. I myself being no exception. I don't know the path i walk on..Start known...end is endless...
Am lost somewhere in the process of searching myself. My sharp edges, feel, are becoming powerless...Light does not reflects coz of diminished refractive index.....

Silence prevailing within....silence in ambience...i am just a spark..... Spark that can rekindle many but itself being of ignored identity... But i do believe a SPARK neglected burns the house...

Sirf ek chingari hai
Jo ek Leela khelti hai
Aur andhere ki chhathi me
Wo kabhi bujhati kabhi jalti-
Jane khuda se kya kahati hai
Aur Khamoshi ki wo nadi
Meri yaad me bahati hai.......

Changes...They keep us updated

2006-05-23T02:31:00.000-07:00

Yeah!!!
Definitely i've got changed.
Initially it was a gradual phenomenon..But a fast and instantaneous change in last 6 months..
Initially i was arrogant, stubborn. I wany sth ...it meant i want it. But neverthless it destroyed sth . Infact this attitude fetched me gold of Diploma & 1100 cheque of Batch topper.(combined 8 trades)
I used to b very much arrogant & revengeful. Pain, vengeance,anger used 2 b my evertime companion as they used 2 affect me very much, very soon too. At least at this stage i can say that i can control these three. I hv also learnt forgiving..the hardest task.. coz of the spiritualism induced in me by Sujae, which gave me the strength & power of ignoring & being unaffected by the basesless torments & comments
I was logical...Hv gone more logical & practical these days..
And Yes the greatest change ...the school days smiles and peals of laughter-that while coming here i've left in my sweethome. due to persistent support & help of my cute punjaban/punjabi friends (sm others too) .....................hav regained it .

But sometimes i feel it gonna harm me someday definiteli if i dont stop my battisi shining out brilliantly in chemistry & MS type lectutes & lecturers. I was on the borderline of being thrown away 4rm class due to my untimely, uncotrolled laughing spree..............

Finally results hav come...Not as per hope....sm wat sad too...............so m stopping my Processing here....

Better now i sud prepare 4 fighting d impending war dat can commence now 4rm any moment....

Lots of free time !!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-05-22T02:11:00.000-07:00

Well!!!!!!! Everybody is busy....either in studies..or in sleeping. I've 2 do nothing. Until result comes & datesheet declared am not going to study. I hv started hating the lifelong phenomena.
As far as sleeping is concerned, it has reached to its saturation level...It now gives no Njoymnt.
So in punjabi nowadays am totally 'VELLI'. My friends in other colleges r either busy with their exams or r enjoying their hols at their sweet homes.. Am blessed 2 neither. So opted this place 4 timepass...I know once the datesheet declared, i'll b in d greatest peril as i've no preparation (a gud & satisfactory one) in any subject.

But i always follow instructions coming 4rm the Microcontroller installed within the most subtle & delicate top most part of this biological unit......

So am Kool till Results & Datesheet comes. I advice the same 2 my pals..rather i am thinking 2 utilize the gap 2 explore myself ..the changes within me in past 3 years...

Microcontroller is ON ......wait till processing continues.

Shall b soon with the results of analysis..........

At the End, nothing Goes

2006-05-22T01:26:00.000-07:00

Everyone in cosmos wants a good image. She is no exception. But she was alleged :"She left her companion when she turned her competitor". More or less it was supported by her companion too. This really brought a blot on her image..a painful and lifelong experience for her. Companion...Hmmm... Is being in someone's company always means s/he is his gud compnion? Dat too a true one?
Seeing life is very easy....observing & analysing is equally difficult..Quite few guys know dat she is at no fault...But she never tried clearing the clouds either...I know her...She's like dat

Public has 2 speak only..w/o thinking....least caring it may devastate someone..devour sm-1...People see things superficially 7 they give their comments..Mass as a whole, lacks logical & analytical reasoning..That's Y they r mass...possesss no individual identity. Mass does not know the trifling yet very important things going in her life. mass does not know the hurricane within her...And mass does not know the DRIP & ANALGIN concept of her life..mass does know the incident dat happened on 26th jan , 2006..which finally compelled her 2 detach herself 4rm sm persons.Mass knows nothing..they hav jes comments 2 throw

Things have got fresher, past incidents revived...coz again she's suffered allgations..baseless ones..

Anyways ..she is least interested in clearing the things..shje live in a circle & the people within it & over its periphery know her very well...Now she cares lest of her image..she is inert to her rude, shrewd, & proud tags..(gud alliteration, infact)..

I know her power to turn odds 2 even..tornado curl 2 cool caesar breeze..She will get balanced wid d help of her silence. With the Manthan going within her innerself, she will soon unleash her hidden potential...and no-one can then stop her to reach the Kshitiz.

In the Beginning, Nothing Comes;
In the Middle, Nothing stays;
at the End, Nothing goes.

Present is middle.....she has nothing..she is nothing
Working for End.......To find the complement of Nothing.

2006-05-19T09:49:00.000-07:00

well !!!
Life's breez seems been replaced by tornado curls.
Ambience here's exploding...when, where,it will expplode...unknown to everyone
everything uncertain.
Even d Heisenberg's uncertainty principle fails here
So much is the intensity of uncertainty prevailing here...

And My Life....

2006-05-19T09:31:00.000-07:00

Deadlines, Desires, Dreams
And my Life.....

Unknown thirst, emotion burst, Lust
And my Life.....

Holding hands, assuaging words
Unfolding relations, unfastening bonds
And my Life.......

falling, crawling, strolling
Reinforcing self, reconciling fate
And my Life......

Silent, piercing paired hollwed eyes
Destination gleaming, illusion terrain
Pinches, pains, apathy, dry rain
And my Life...

Wordless, deedless, reckless
Peaceless, powerless, pathless
Hyped...hated...hurted...hostile...
Long exile
THIS IS MY LIFE................................

Ghalib (source internet)

2006-05-12T03:04:00.000-07:00

So back after a long break..
m here wid some very beautiful work of Ghalib..

hazaaroN KHwahishaiN 'eisee ke har KHwahish pe dam nikle
bohot nikle mere armaaN lekin fir bhee kam nikle
nikalna KHuld se aadam ka sunte aayaiN haiN lekin
bohot be_aabru hokar tere kooche se ham nikle

bus ki dushwaar hai har kaam ka aasaaN hona
aadmee ko bhee muyassar naheeN insaaN hona
giriya chaahe hai KHaraabee mere kaashaane ki
dar-o-deevaar se Tapke hai bayaabaaN hona

dil-e-naadaaN tujhe huaa kya hai ?
aaKHir is dard kee dawa kya hai
maiN bhee muNh meiN zabaan rakhta hooN
kaash ! poocho ki "muddaa kya hai" ?

meharbaaN ho ke bulaa lo mujhe chaaho jis waqt
maiN gayaa waqt nahiN hooN ke phir aa bhi na sakooN
zauf meiN taanaa-e-aGHyaar ka shikwaa kyaa hai?
baat kuchh sar to nahiN hai ke uThaa bhi na sakooN

kahooN kis se maiN ke kya hai, shab-e-GHam buree bala hai
mujhe kya bura tha marna ? agar ek baar hota
hue mar ke ham jo ruswa, hue kyoN na GHarq-e-dariya
na kabhee janaaza uThata, na kaheeN mazaar hota

zikr us pareewash kaa, aur phir bayaaN apnaa
ban gayaa raqeeb aaKHir thaa jo raazdaaN apnaa

Main wo kyoN bahut peete bazm-e-ghair meN yarab
Aaj hi hua manzoor un ko imtihaaN apna

manzar ik bulandee par aur ham banaa sakte
'arsh se idhar hotaa kaash ke makaaN apnaa

De woh jis qadar zillat hum haNsee meN taleNge
Baarey Aashna nikla unka paasbaN apna

ham kahaaN ke daanaa the? kis hunar meiN yaktaa the?
be_sabab huaa 'GHalib' dushman aasmaaN apnaa

convocation

2005-12-09T02:55:00.000-08:00

Finally i was awarded the gold medal, the much awaited event of my life ..
Though many things else r also awaited....
I have never been so happy, that too openly... publically.
Yeah!!!!!!!!!!
Its an akchnowledgement of my labour, papa's untiring efforts, ma's supports, sis's love & words of care... nani's prayers... Gods luv on me...Though the transient one...

I devote this Gold Medal to my papa & my Family.

Happy BirthDay papa (Jan 5th).

Am bringing ur birthday gift with me . I hope no gift than its Shine can give u the real happiness.
I promise to give u many- more such experiences..

The greatest Khushi: happiness wat it is ?

2005-10-30T04:26:00.000-08:00

Do you know the everlasting happiness of life lies in the very smaller & seemingly unimportant incidents of life
well!!! getting a gold medal can be an illusion of happiness. It can give transient happies..
Real happiness comes when u make others feel happy.
I feel happy when my friend bids me a good morning.. or when i am teased & stretched on some very trifling topics.. I find greatest fun in distorting the names of my friends, but of only of those guys who do not take it otherwise.
I am very much happy when someone is happy due to me..when someone expected sth 4rm me an i acted accordingly. My happiness seems no bounds when my parents are happy due to my some work.
I enjoy happiness when i fight with my younger sisters, when i forcefully teach them maths, or when i will get mamma's scolds for not helping my di's in kitchen.. & many little things whose memories still vitalise me & sometime i start smiling memorizing & recollecting my past days.

Imagine u r ill, lying over your bed,no courage even to move an inch, breathes coming out very hardly. In that state of mind u wish better life stop here. Bahut ho gaya. But a friend comes, comforts u with her eyes, sits besides u, silently, running her fingers deep in ur hairs . And a new desire to live gets infused in u..

I am not exaggerating the things. I have experienced the things i,v stated here.
These types of gestures can only give u lifelong happiness & memories to entrap in ur conscious & subconscious mind.

The degree, the marks, the grades... everything is just a piece of paper. Medals cannot be valuable than the emotions.. & thi\ose, who for sake of these small things play with the emotions of someone, that too knowingly, in my view is the greatest sinner

Well!!!! hapiness in words of Aldous Huxley, can not be achieved by the continuous persuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.
Yes the by-product of other activities which we hardly ever heed on & take into account.

These are my ideas of happiness. It might be different from others.
Leave the RELATIVITY CONCEPT i.e he is intelligent relative to me, he is richer than me, he is smart relative to me, he is more eminent & famous & sought after relative to me & so on... Then u will get QUANTUM OF HAPPINESS , the probabiltity of finding the happiness extends even to infinity & its expectation value is highest & defined everywhere in the space. this is proved even by statistical methods.

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply; to enjoy simply;to think freely;to risk life, to be needed.

"Happiness is when what u think,what u say & what u do, all are in harmony." This is what Mahatma Gandhi has said.

So have a happy life
Try to be happy & make others happy
Don't run madly on roads which have no ends.
Follow the road to the betterment of humanity.

Silence : the grearest speaker

2005-10-30T03:38:00.000-08:00

Every night i go to my bed. well!! not to sleep but to have a view on my day-whole activities.
That day too i continued the same routine. But this time it was a continuity of the day long thought-phenomena..
Yes the words were still sounding within me, rebounding again & again...
I felt someone has stabbed me.. & my bad luck was that i could not even weep.
Whole day passed.. The sounds reflected again & again after striking my heart -walls & ecah reflection would have further intensified the pain of my wounds...
I couldn't share it to anyone coz i believe in Nida fazli's word

" apne gham ko kahi aur na dikhaya jae

ghar me bikhare saamano ki sajaya jae"

Forgiving has always been my habit...b'coz it is what i've learned 4rm my father.
But don't know why this time i am unable to 4-give, for the words are still sounding in my mind..Echo has been replacd by its reverberations.
Guilt has always been my least favourite emotion. Guilt is sth due to which u cannot look into the eyes of some persons. It is that stuff which always taunts u that u are a sinner... No i never feel guilty.. coz i never do things that can make me feel gulity...It' no exaggeration.

ya... back to topic..
when i am stabbed by words.. the best medicine i put o'r the wounds is that of silence. My silence always comes to my rescue when i am shot by lots of allegations, 90% of which are made just to unbalance me.. In this familiar darkness, sound of silence always assuages me, says no i am with you..

when i start doubting my potentials & capabilties, a ray 4rm miles across, an image, i would say a mirage of parents love & care, holds me, inspires me..they would say nothing,but i can hear everything.
I feel their silence.
I read their eye.
Both virtually.

It seems that the impassivity has become my 24-hr companion these days.
I thank u for u provided me base whereupon i can weep untill satiated, which i can hold when feel scary of loneliness, underneath which i feel secure..its u ..thank u ...my brave shoulders..

thank u very much
thanx to my capability of being silent
hope someday i'll find one who will understand my silence ( here )

Results 2k5

2005-10-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

Do u Know that the 1st sem results has been declared
Here is result of a student bearing the registration no. GEC/1191/05.

Poor at Public Relations
Grade E in Smile Technology
Grade E in Relation Maintenance & Repairing
Grade C in 3G technology : Go Get in Gossip Tech
Grade A in GSM : Gradual Stoicism Management
Grade B in HALO Tech: Human Analysis & Language Orientation
Grade C in CDMA : Class de (vich) Multiple Access

RESULT: FAIL in PTU exams
PTU: Public (Tele) Communication & Understanding

Result is based partly on the Survey of BE students ( Batch mates of EC 1st year)

fate only

2005-07-29T03:27:00.000-07:00

A bud was trying to bloom

Among the pinching thorns

gay & growing in deep maroon

blushing smile in daily morns.

A single minute & Lo!!!!!

Maroon turned red

everything in blue, silent hue

was there something still due?

Reminiscences

2005-07-25T03:59:00.000-07:00

This is devoted to a friend who is swept away by the tide of time, some two or three years ago.

A friend, whom I remeber everytime, be it a happy moment or a gloomy one....

Friend
Though you are not here
I see your glimpse everywhere
I needed a finger
You spread your hands.
I wanted some buzz
you provided with silent gaze.
I ruined myself with my wrath
You still were there
to take me back on the right path.

I felt suffocated from within
You enacted a clown to
give me smile a thin.
Guys teased me of my origin
You were there giving me
my own introduction...

I felt belittled as spoke thee
You introduced myself with me.
I never uttered for help 4rm you
You appeared smiling there in
every despair, distress & hue.

You accompanied me, unasked
You followed me 4rm behind
You lent your hand in deep shit, unasked
You walked by me till last mile, untired.

You argued with me everytime, I talked you
Yet 4rm the deepest core, my heart thanked you.
You went the way u came
Hurriedly, surprisingly !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leaving behind the memories of transient flame .

No unfair thought ever strolled in mind
Nothing like that which people say blind.
But I always want you my behind
Or ahead or beside.
With that evergreen smile

Infusing beams of hopes in hollowed hearts

That can be seen 4rm across the mile.

Never is filled vaccancy created by

your sudden departure.

I can't meet you in near or far future

even if opportunity is bestowed

B'coz i've my boundaries that

Needs to be stirctly followed.

You are still stranger, unknown to me

But memories are stuck with super-glue.

Then is this just a friendship

Or some other sort of relationship (that of humanity)?

Perhaps the bond is due to telepathy

Or the telepathy is due to this bond.

what is this - illusion or stigma?

For me you are still an enigma.

Days of 12th

2005-07-25T03:21:00.000-07:00

CANDID CORNER

Gone are the days salty, spicy, yet sweeter

Memories of my Alma-Mater still fresher

Sports, songs, computers & everyday bonanza

And yes the Annual day's musical extravaganza.

Physics sir bullying with his favourite dialogues

Chemistry madam explaining the -OL homologues
Hindi period engulfed with giggles & chuckles

Maths sir cool & sober,Eng. sir looking through spectacles

Shams shamming all the googly

Everyone waiting for his next sally

Sweety's sweet & salty folly

And someone in a corner licking a lolly.

Me always bamboozling the guys

With unlimited wides,bouncers & byes

Gimmie on the blackboard with her caricatures

Showing Vandana on a broken strature.

Vandana with her vocal performances

winning ovation for crescendo of piquant paens

And on the front bech, Pooja christened Miss Chasmiss

Picking up problems, strifing & solving tricks

And again Thumbs-up to miss Pinky's hope

Finding reasons-"why isn't Marigold a gold allotrope?

Why isn't cauliflower a flower?" And

"what's a Corola?"-Sunita puzzling Botany the teacher.

My class a strange concoction of guys

"Are they to give BOARD exams?"-Principal says

Some cozy,some being the upcoming tycoon

Others seem to bring a whirlpool or a typhoon.

These memories are the souvenir of my alma-mater

About the rest i will speak later

May kudos of this pious place always spread

And Best of Luck to K.V. No. 2, Gaya , stepping ahead.....

wanna say something

2005-07-17T15:22:00.000-07:00

hi all !!
me this time after a long gap
was busy with certain very important tasks as seen fron the carrier point of view.
Well!! was busy with my entrance preparartions .
I captured flying colors in the results!!!
Really now i can realize i did worked very hard, least caring for anything
But something lies within me, the pain of not getting the most desired thing for the 2nd time, that to for no fault my own..
The rays of love & affection coming 4rm far away (Sweet Home) used to vitalise me everytime i felt tired.
The love, care & affection of some friends do helped me out in coming out 4rm the grip of desperation.

The grudge will always remain but

Apne gham ko hahi aur na dikhaya jaye
Ghar ke bikhare saamano ko sajaya jaye

So trying to gather the pieces & recycle them
me trying to put my spread things again in order

i believe i will succeed

till then
bbye!!!

revealing myself

2005-04-11T05:06:00.000-07:00

hawa ki ore nahi mudte
aashana hum wo hai jo
hawa ka rukh apni ore
modte hai.
hai itna josh ki hum
bin saahil ke apni kisti
saagar me chodte hai.
todte hai jaan kar sab hame
Barg-e-khiza
apne tarane se hum khud se
khudi ko jodte hai.

u can be ur best friend always
Try to learn from yourself also
Never underestimate your capabilities & potentials
always stick to " Yes i can do it, why not?"

Hindi this time

2005-04-11T04:55:00.000-07:00

hamne koshish kee tukdo ko jodne ki
Wo aur tootate gaye.
Sametane ki har kishish ke sath
sheeshe aur bikharte gaye.
chubhan ko kam karne ki koshish me
ghaav aue gehrate gaye.
khuli hawa ki chah ki to
pinjar me hi ghir gaye.
jahar jo pehale manjar me the
ander bhi ghul gaye.
ganth bandhane ki koshish me
bandhan hi khul gaye.
batein itni jyaada huee ki
hoth hi sil gaye.
khiza aayee hum par jab
sare gul khil gaye.
log zamee par fisalate hai, par
hamari to zamme hi fisal gayee.

friends! parted friends!!

2005-01-20T02:13:00.000-08:00

When the friends you believed on more than yourself & who used to be your source of inspiration and happiness, forget you, avoids you (or you feel so) you may get hurt internally, emotionally.
Relations by emotions (friendship) when ceases, what remains is just suffocation. This may split you up.
So your strategy should be to protect yourself from fission due to de-fusion caused by confusion between you & your friend(s)
Never let the second party know what (s)he stood in your life & that how much vaccant you feel without them, because it is more meaningful when explored rather than being told.But time changes everyone, your feelings may become single-sided. Interests too change with time, friends to career, older pals to newer ones and so on
So think deeply, logically whether or not your feelings are acknowledged. Once you find the answer "NO" it is better to forget the past as one's self-esteem is the greatest asset. This Brain washing may take time as
Gaanth agar lag jaye to phir
Ristey ho ya dori
lakh kare koshish khulne me
waqt to lagta hai
So, think logically, Get your answer..
And if necessary unfasten urself from the illusion of friendship
Search for one within yourself
Discover yourself
Happy unfastening (if necessary)
All the Best

rolling pebbles

2005-01-12T13:15:00.000-08:00

Hi guys!!
Well!! New 2 the world of bloggers.
Life's a mingled thread of joy and sorrow, take and borrow, gain and pain, silence and hurricane and lots of similar mutual oppositions. Living with such contradictions is not an easy task.
Sometimes the negatives of life make You feel engulfed in tears. Every path looks bleak... and future seems so much freak. At that time u realize the importance of relations....But but they can't accompany u with ur every move.. And then solitude within u and ur rationality are ur only companions in the outside world where u r struggling for making ur name
Move ahead ur every step with a predetermined mind,and only after full and final introspection that the road u r going to move on is one that will finally take u towards the way of fullfilling ur cherished dreams. Keep aside ur tastes and weaknesses as they can hinder u from reaching ur goal. Well is said
"Ek galat quadam jo utha rahe shauk mein
Manzil tamaam umra hame dhoondhati rah gayee "

Don't let ur manzil searching u the whole life
Go get it !!!!!!

shall b back soon